Into The Wild - With Neville Cheestring

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Today is a very special day.
It is the day you have all been waiting for.
Or, at least, it's the day Neville has been waiting for!

So sit back, kick off your fingershoes, and enjoy.

WOP Productions is proud to present...

Into The Wild - With Neville Cheestring

(for best results, please allow Nev to fully buffer
up all 7 minutes and 27 seconds!)

.

Exclusive: Coming soon - Nev goes wild!

Don't say we don't ever bring you exclusive content here at WOP because, well, here's one such news exclusive right now!

Yup, he's at it again - our hapless friend, Neville Cheestring, is convinced that he can make it big (again). This time, he's determined that he has what it takes to conquer the wonderful world of internet television. And his vehicle? The great outdoors.

Oh dear.

Yes, hard as it is to believe, Nev is indeed putting together the final shards of the pilot episode of his exciting new show "Into The Wild", in which he 'educates' viewers about all things 'nature survival'. "It's all very exciting really," he says, "... much like railways in that sense. There are trees and animals and... well, too much to go into here. Did I mention the trees?"

And, would you credit it, we've even managed to secure these yet-to-be-released publicity stills, taken during the filming of this latest venture, in which Neville will be seen illustrating the wonders of such skills as fire lighting, food gathering, and 'a hole in a tree'.

We wish him luck - because, let's face it, he's going to need it!

As for you, dear Pooters, you can expect the motion-picture result of Nev's glorious endeavours shortly!

More Things You Find! (Random Objects: #5)

Once again on an autumnal walk in the country today, I've found amongst the nature another strange growth in a field. Someone has planted a 'Wheat Crunchies' seed and is now thriving! I wander if our 'farmer' planned the flavour of the crisps, or left it to nature?

The Things You Find! (this could possibly evolve into a children's book at a later date).

Lighting Fixture Of Death

.


Something is definitely amiss here at World Of Poot Headquaters. First there was the Windowsill Of Death incident and now...

During a routine piece of maintenance in the South Wing drawing room, our resident electrician - Bob Spark - was horrified to discover yet more terrifying scenes of insect demise.

When interviewed by the local Death Squad, headed up by Chief Inspector Detective Hammer Von Clark, Mr. Spark said "Oh, it was awful. Just awful. I mean, I've seen a few sights in my time. All it needs is those extra 20 watts of energy and... well... you just wouldn't want to be in their shoes. Err... hang on - do insects wear shoes?"

If you are of a nervous disposition, or just don't like the thought of chargrilled bug, you might like to look away now.

Oh, the humanity!

Random Objects: #4 - Dead Meat

Funny what you find at the end of the garden, isn't it?

This poor critter appears to be feeling a little deflated, a mere
trace of its former self:


But just what do we have here? Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
No, clearly not.
I'm not an expert, and I have not yet performed an autopsy,
but I'm guessing this is an ex-puddy tat.

Closer inspection may lead our keen roadkill enthusiasts to confirm this status:


Poor old Tiddles! Still, it's what he would have wanted.


(Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the gathering
of our research; this one was already a gonner!)

Barry's Book Corner

This month, Barry Baitumen has been in a very philosophical frame of mind. Unsure of his roots, where he came from - and indeed where he is going - he has been in heavily contemplative mood, reaching deep into himself as well as the Book Corner library.

His pick of the bunch this time around is "Darwin" by Adrian Desmond & James Moore - which is suitably located outdoors, surrounded by nature (in the form of the WOP veggie patch):


Barry was 'unavailable for comment' when we tried to press him for a few words. All he could say as he fled across the car park was "Why?! Why?! I just don't know what to make of it all!".

Wise words indeed, Barry - and we look forward to your next glowing recommendation.

Thought For The Day - Albinochook

.

What colour are the eggs laid by albino chickens?



Disclaimer: The above is not an albino chicken
(or, at least, not to the best of our knowledge)

The Windowsill Of Death

Somewhere, out there, in a land far, far away (actually, it's just at the bottom of the East Wing staircase) lies a battlefield strewn with the debris of Mother Nature's battles.

Amidst this barren landscape can be found the titans of insect aviation and the sedate languishers of our precious scenery.

It is a cold, heartless world; a place of desolation and despair (well, for the insects at least), where only the most nimble of vacuum cleaners dares go on its clean-up mission.

This is the Windowsill Of Death.

Random Objects: #2 - A Case Of Crabs

Funny what you come across on a walk down by the water... I happened to be strolling along a jetty, when what should catch my eye but a fishing net and a plastic container:

So I looked a little closer:

And would you believe it - a case of crabs!

OK, so not technically a 'case'.
Now you're just being picky - work with me here!

Up The Garden Path

What could be more quintessentially British than the good old-fashioned English country garden, eh?!

Well, I don't have one of those. But I do have a veggie patch. OK, so I don't have one of them either - but I do have a few pots, tubs and troughs dotted about outside the kitchen, into which I have planted various veggies. And with such precision that there now appears to be a fine crop developing.

Sounds nice, doesn't it? "Life's rosey in the 'garden' at Chez Babbington" I hear you say. Well all is not as it may seem!


Look, you're missing the point here. The thing is, I have slugs. At least, that's what I assume I have. Certainly, the lettuces (or should that be letti? lettuci?) aren't too chuffed. Sure they have sun and water (no speed boat, but then what would they do with one of those?!). Trouble is, sun and water ain't no good if you're being devoured daily.

Boo hiss, slug!
(photo: buygardendecor.com, via Google images)

Actually, thinking about it, if lettuces/letti/lettuci did have a speed boat, they could plan an escape during a heavy rain storm. Ooh, that's a point - how about a sailing boat? We have lots of wind in this country (poot!). Ooh, ooh, ooh, I've got it! Air balloons. That's what lettuces/letti/lettuci need. It's obvious, when you think about it. Isn't it? Ah. Maybe it's just me then.

But I digress...

The point is this: some low-down, good-for-nothing, slimey garden-based creature, some thieving tea leaf, has been helping itself to our lettuces/letti/lettuci. I've yet to find the culprit, but when I do... er... oh.

I'll probably just move it to one side. I'm not an animal.

Don't even get me started on the spinach!

Nature

I photographed a dead wasp today
I have absolutely no idea why.