The Disinterested Fishermen

Introducing the Disinterested Fishermen!

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Clarks Premium Gear Kit

One for those 'in the know' ...


Clarks Premium Gear Kit

Featuring:

# Teflon gear innerwires (Teflon coated)

# XTR type housing for reduced friction

# Sealed system, water and dirt resistant

# Alloy ferrules, anti-corrosion


Ahhh how we miss him... ;)

Barry's Book Corner

Fresh from his extended Christmas/New Year break which took in mustard fighting in Wolverhampton, Barry Bitumen - our resident literary genius - is back on track. Actually, saying that, things did not get off to the best of starts this year as, upon his return, Barry was confronted on the doorstep of his two-bed semi in Rochester by not one but all six of his ex-wives!

Sadly Linda, Diane, Rachel, Susan, Esther and Peter (don't ask) were not there to hand over belated Christmas cards. No, they were fully intent on laying claim to their individual shares of the house, clubbing together to organise one big house-share arrangement. Unfortunately for Barry, the collective total of these individual shares added up to 97% ownership.

So, with new horizons literally 'out there', our man has been busily cleaning out his posessions and clearing up after himself for fear of receiving a beating if he leaves even a single hair in the plug hole! With this in mind, then, this month's inspired recommendation is the Readers' Digest "How To Clean Just About Anything"... which, understandably, can currently be found in the shower cubicle.


Says Barry, "Apparently, bloodstains can be successfully removed from carpets by covering them with a mix of flour and cold water and rubbing gently, drying by turning up the radiators, then brushing off the paste once it has dried. Well that's very interesting... very interesting indeed. I must make a note of that...."

Er...

Wise words indeed, Barry. We wish you the best of luck with your ongoing domestic struggles at what must surely be a very stressful time, and we look forward to next month's not-at-all disturbing recommendation.

Neville buffs up!

After the runaway success of Into The Wild, our man Neville Cheestring has decided that he needs to build on his image. Obviously, we think he's fine just the way he is; after all, how can you improve on perfection, right?! Still, Nev is having none of it.

On my visit to the gym today, I bumped into our self-proclaimed 'Wild Man of WOP'. Actually, truth be told, he bumped into me - true to form, of course. Naturally, I was surprised to see him there - goodness knows the man can't even lift a bag of sugar with two hands! - so I asked just what he was playing at. His answer - "I think I may be a little bit lost".

Well, quite.

Still, I have to say, you're looking good there Nev - especially with the body bronzing! And thanks again for letting us publish this promo photo!

He also directed me to this wonderful footage of his prankster pal...

I don't know... You people!

Barry's Book Corner

This month, Barry's recommendation has been very much inspired by the events of last weekend's poot-fest, here at WOP HQ. With so much 'entertainment' on offer, he was surely spoilt for choice!

And so... this outing's recommendation is none other than "Practical Jokes To Play On Her", as published by Kudos.

Fittingly, this little gem can be found subtly wedged on top of a whoopie cushion, sneakily hidden within a living room sofa - no doubt just waiting for a poor unsuspecting victim to 'discover' it!

Clearly, our man is easily pleased. Once he had stopped laughing at the sounds of fabricated flatulence, we were able to extract his summing-up: "Sometimes, you just can't beat the classics. Forget all your i-dongs and megapips, tradition is the bedrock of good, clean home entertainment!"

Wise words indeed, Barry, and we look forward to next month's glowing recommendation.

Barry's Book Corner

This month, Barry Bitumen brings us his recommendation along with an apology...

Some of our sharper-eyed readers will have noticeed that Barry was strangely silent for the duration of last month, and so did not not offer a book suggestion. He still maintains that this was due to 'personal circumstances', but we suspect he was just simply engrossed in his work and lost track of the time.

Naturally we approached him for his submission but, ironically enough, were greeted with that old chestnut of an excuse, "My dog ate it!" Ironic, you see, because this belated recommendation is none other than Elliott Erwitt's "Dog Dogs" - which, naturally, can be found taking up your warm, cosy space on the sofa, right next to the fire!

Now, Barry likes to keep one eye on the WOP, and it has not gone unnoticed that we have a dog fancier (er... is that the right terminology?) in our midst. So our latest 'anonymous' friend will no doubt be overjoyed by the pictures contained within this post! Besides, with a request stating "can we have more dog images plz? i'd love you for it :))", how could our bookworm resist?!


And Mr. Bitumen's comment this time around?: "This is, quite literally, the mutt's... book! And what's more, you know, it's almost as if this recommendation was contrived!"

Wise words indeed, Barry. We wish you all the best in handling your, um, 'personal circumstances', and look forward to your current recommendation - to be submitted on time! - later this month.

Random Objects: #9 - Cardog

Meanwhile...

in a parallel universe...

Get them mices! (Random Objects: #8)

They say that you're never more than 10 feet away from a rat.
But what about mice?

Anyway...

Could this be the world's largest mouse trap?

More to the point...

If this is indeed a real trap - just how big are the mice?!

And what if they're waiting round the corner,
ready to pounce and steal your Haribo?!

Those crafty vermin.

More Wee Willie Winkies! (Random Objects: #7)

Well I never - it would appear that the Wee Willy Winkies I cornered in Scotland recently (here) have followed me all the way down to my local Asda!

Spotted them today, the cheeky winkies!

WOP Hotel - further exciting development!

Back in July, we brought you news of our deluxe refit at the WOP Hotel. Well, it is fair to say that following the news, we were litterally 'asked' whether this area of development was due for further regeneration. At the time, we had to keep things all very 'hush-hush'.

But that was then... this is now! And so it is with great pride, excitement, and the distinct aroma of flatulence filling the corridoors, that I can announce the latest fantastic news - We're still at it!

Don't ask us how we do it - just know that we do!

Here, for your visual delectation, is just a small vignette of some of the latest wonderful features that our guests can expect to find in their superb rooms...

Spacious and elegant, the minimalist
approach - by popular demand!

With only the finest decor...


... including fine art...


... the year-round
'Winter Wonderland' look...


... and nature on your doorstep (and walls)!


After a long day, you'll really appreciate
the creature comforts, such as...

the Beko Fastext colour television/wardrobe
combi unit...


... and central heating.

Did we mention the Royal Gala #4137
'Crisp And Sweet' telephonic device?!
(includes wires)...


... which you can use at leisure whilst enjoying
a fine cup of English tea, prepared in your very own
Relaxation Zone:


We'll even supply extra electricity!:


Having safely stored away your belonings...


you'll be jumping at the chance to
try your bathroom facilities!
All rooms now come with
bespoke en-suites,


featuring:

The finest porcelain basins...


Stylish detailing such as grooming mirror,
complete with matching receptacle
and air conditioning unit...


... toilet paper dispenser...


... and walk-in shower room

And finally, rest assured that your stay
will be a safe and secure one, thanks to our
strict EU-compliant health & safety measures,
such as...

Restraintech support devices


... easy-wipe surfaces


... Fire Action instruction sheet


... and Guest Emergency
Survival Manual



- The WOP Hotel -
Come back!
Soon.

Random Objects: #6 - Wee Willie Winkie's

Greetings, pooters!

This post comes in the wake of my very long one-day adventure up in Scotland yesterday, where I happened upon this delightful find in a local convenience store. Made me chuckle, so it did.

I actually have nothing more to add (probably due to exhaustion) - but surely these little fellas speak for themselves anyway!

Mmm... sausages...

London Fashion Week

With London Fashion Week well under way, the talk of the town is 'what not to wear'.

This is a very exciting time, obviously, and it will be very interesting to see how this year's hottest fashions make their way onto the highstreet.

Clearly, this chap is well ahead of the game, seen here strutting his stuff in my local shopping precinct early this morning.

Note the complementary colours between jumper, shoes, socks... and carrier bag! This year's buzz word - accessorise!

Thoughts of Mr. Kent

Something of an 'in-joke', this one...
Certainly Mitch and the Bumpkin will appreciate it!

It's amazing what they stock in Aaaaasda these days.
Not exactly Golden Hammers - but it's all publicity, I guess!

It always was all about the pink!

And for the full range...

Barry's Book Corner

This month, our intrepid book boffin - Barry Bitumen - is out to entertain... and impress!

Having commandeered the South Wing pantry here at World Of Poot HQ, he has been rummaging deeply through his arsenal of cookery books... and can now happily recommend "Finger Food" - one of many editions in the Austrailian Women's Weekly series of no-frills, easy-cook, cook books. Should you wish to follow in Barry's culinary footsteps, this volume can be found - where else but?! - in the oven:


Clearly, this one speaks for itself. However, Barry did ask that readers also admire his collection of freshly-picked cucumbers, adding "Get a load of these beauties! They'll be perfect for my 'cucumber rounds with herbed cream cheese'... that's on page 77!"


Wise words indeed, Barry. We wish you the best of luck with your endeavours and look forward to your glowing recommendation next month.

Lighting Fixture Of Death

.


Something is definitely amiss here at World Of Poot Headquaters. First there was the Windowsill Of Death incident and now...

During a routine piece of maintenance in the South Wing drawing room, our resident electrician - Bob Spark - was horrified to discover yet more terrifying scenes of insect demise.

When interviewed by the local Death Squad, headed up by Chief Inspector Detective Hammer Von Clark, Mr. Spark said "Oh, it was awful. Just awful. I mean, I've seen a few sights in my time. All it needs is those extra 20 watts of energy and... well... you just wouldn't want to be in their shoes. Err... hang on - do insects wear shoes?"

If you are of a nervous disposition, or just don't like the thought of chargrilled bug, you might like to look away now.

Oh, the humanity!

Bat Poot - original artwork

Following the recent success of action blockbusters The Black Knight and Bat-Nev, much has been made about the relative merits of the chosen cast members. Clearly, it was important that the actors be at the top of their game... but everyone needs inspiration.

We are proud to announce that, for the princely sum of £3.72 and a bunch of 'Computers For Schools' vouchers, World Of Poot has successfully obtained one of the original sketches on which the lead character was based.

This is truely art, my friends - by any definition. Enjoy!

Random Objects: #4 - Dead Meat

Funny what you find at the end of the garden, isn't it?

This poor critter appears to be feeling a little deflated, a mere
trace of its former self:


But just what do we have here? Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
No, clearly not.
I'm not an expert, and I have not yet performed an autopsy,
but I'm guessing this is an ex-puddy tat.

Closer inspection may lead our keen roadkill enthusiasts to confirm this status:


Poor old Tiddles! Still, it's what he would have wanted.


(Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the gathering
of our research; this one was already a gonner!)

Thought For The Day - Potslug

Today's thought was inspired by this shocking discovery in the kitchen:


Just how do slugs get into potatoes?


Disclaimer:
This slug was dead before I 'accidentally'
cooked it in the microwave. Probably.

Barry's Book Corner

This month, Barry Baitumen has been in a very philosophical frame of mind. Unsure of his roots, where he came from - and indeed where he is going - he has been in heavily contemplative mood, reaching deep into himself as well as the Book Corner library.

His pick of the bunch this time around is "Darwin" by Adrian Desmond & James Moore - which is suitably located outdoors, surrounded by nature (in the form of the WOP veggie patch):


Barry was 'unavailable for comment' when we tried to press him for a few words. All he could say as he fled across the car park was "Why?! Why?! I just don't know what to make of it all!".

Wise words indeed, Barry - and we look forward to your next glowing recommendation.

Nevilla Cheestring - Sister Of Norman!

Well, it seems that the family tree of our Norman Cheestring goes a little further back than we first thought. Here is an album cover of 'Top Of The Pops 1976' with Nevilla, the sister of Norman. As you'll see, she was quite a stunner and the family resembalance is startling.

She was never again seen on records covers, Nevilla lead a very quiet life after that, working in a biscuit farm near Thatch.

She recently said 'I was proud to have done my bit of stardom, but my true life in biscuit-wifery was always calling. I don't miss the late nights and the wild parties, because I was never invited to them'.