Into The Waterways - With Neville Cheestring

Something of an exclusive for you today, Pooters - the film Neville didn't want you to see!

Yes, that's right. Thanks to an onslaught of chinese burns to his left wrist, we managed to get hold of the unseen "Into The Waterways" episode - filmed on New Years Eve day last year. As you will see, not even Nev can keep the momentum going all of the time.

So sit back, kick off your deck shoes and, once it's buffered up, enjoy...

Into The Waterways - With Neville Cheestring

Into The Past - With Neville Cheestring

Such was the overwhelming interest following the trailer for Neville's latest production at the end of last week, that the chaps at WOP Productions actully went ahead and pulled the footage off the cutting room floor to put the final thing together!

Understandably, Nev is delighted about this, because it means he gets paid. Not in money, you understand - that would only encourage him. No, he prefers gift vouchers - much more forgiving, and oh so very practical.

Bigger, longer, fuller - but with the usual level of production values - this one runs to 13 minutes an 12 seconds... So for complete satisfaction, please ensure you let Nev buffer right up before you hit the play button!

As an added bonus, the production team have also released some of the official stills for your viewing pleasure - take a look at them below the film itself.

As an aside, we'd like to put out an official request for ideas here... Any "Into The..." situations in which you'd like to see Nev strutting his wonderful, hapless stuff - no matter how absurd or perilous - just let us know. Of course, we can't promise to get through all of them, but we'll certainly see what we can do...

Oh, and be sure to watch out for the next exciting adventure, where our man takes a stroll along the shoreline...

Enjoy!

"What a wonderful, awe-inspiring erection"

"It makes you think, doesn't it?
Makes you really have a good think"

"You can see these wonderful turrets here...
Touch it. I invite you to touch it"

"You just have to admire this fantastic building...
the work that's gone into her"

"You're looking a history here, real history"

"You just wonder what was in there"

"There's a mysterious spirit that roams beneath the walls"

"History - you can smell it!"

Nev's latest production - trailer

A belated Happy New Year to you, dear Pooters! We trust you had a suitably random holiday season? We certainly did. Well, you have to keep up appearances, don't you?!

2009, eh? Ah, takes me back to '82. But that's another matter.

As for this one, what a year it's going to be! Here at WOP HQ, we've already got ahead of ourselves, making the most the Christmas and New Year break. With appearances from the likes of Neville, Kevin Ketley, and That Bloke With The Camera (not heard of him? Patience, grasshopper - all will be revealed in good time), things are already looking good!

So, to kick off 2009, World Of Poot Productions brings you the following trailer for Nev's latest mini-film - "Into The Past" - where he's all-consumed by history! And what a belter the film is, too; with the support of his new company, Cheestring Multimedia, things are going from strength to strength for our hapless anti-hero - just check out his new kagool! Very swish.

So grab your bobble hat and Thermos, sit back, and enjoy this little teaser...

WOP is 100 today!

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Seasons Greetings, pooters! And behold... World Of Poot has reached it's 100th-post! And just in time for Christmas, too. Feel free to jump up and down in jubilation - just mind your head on the chandelier.

Apologies for the lack of activity recently - the badgers got loose again and, well, I don't have to tell you just what slippery little blighters they can be. Suffice it to say, we have spent the best part of this month (and the not-so-best bits, too, actually) trying to round them up! But order has now been restored - and they are safely tucked up in their trees once again.

Aaaanyway, we're all very excited here at WOP HQ, and everyone is well and truely in festive spirit. With just days to go until Santa does his best to squeeze his big fat behind down out non-existent - but seasonally required - chimney, it's time to think about the annual Christmas party.

The WOP team are hard at work... Among the duty officers, Kevin is in charge of party games, being the sporty type. Barry is taking care of the 'round-the-fireplace' story telling. And word has it that Dave and Nige might even put in a surprise appearance (in which case, erm, it's not going to be much of a surprise, is it?!)

"What about Neville?", you may ask... Ahh yes, Neville. Well... oh dear.

Poor old Nev. He wanted something to do, bless him. Just had to be a part of the action. So, given that this is the season of good will and drunken debauchery, we gave in. "Fine, you can do the decorations", we said, "just as soon as you're finished doing your own back home". Well, that was the first mistake. After 3 days of silence, Mitch decided to nip round to Nev's bachelor pad to see if he was alright.

The scene that greeted him would have been quite sad, nay horrific, had it had not been so amusing. A real-life case of 'where's Wally?' if ever there was one - and with a festive twist, too!

To get a better idea of the whole shocking affair, click on the picture to big-up your Nev.


More seasonal antics to follow!

Exclusive: Coming soon - Nev goes wild!

Don't say we don't ever bring you exclusive content here at WOP because, well, here's one such news exclusive right now!

Yup, he's at it again - our hapless friend, Neville Cheestring, is convinced that he can make it big (again). This time, he's determined that he has what it takes to conquer the wonderful world of internet television. And his vehicle? The great outdoors.

Oh dear.

Yes, hard as it is to believe, Nev is indeed putting together the final shards of the pilot episode of his exciting new show "Into The Wild", in which he 'educates' viewers about all things 'nature survival'. "It's all very exciting really," he says, "... much like railways in that sense. There are trees and animals and... well, too much to go into here. Did I mention the trees?"

And, would you credit it, we've even managed to secure these yet-to-be-released publicity stills, taken during the filming of this latest venture, in which Neville will be seen illustrating the wonders of such skills as fire lighting, food gathering, and 'a hole in a tree'.

We wish him luck - because, let's face it, he's going to need it!

As for you, dear Pooters, you can expect the motion-picture result of Nev's glorious endeavours shortly!

Neville's Bat-Blooper!

As reported in WOP News earlier this week:
(click to enlarge)

Forever under the misguieded belief that it is a good thing to make a 'striking and dramatic' entrance to public events, our star of the recent 'Bat Nev' blockbuster - Neville Cheestring - somehow managed to convince the owners of the original 1989 Bat Man car to let him drive their machine to the recent Pride of Britain awards.

He neglected to tell them that he only has a provisional licence... and that being for use only with agricultural machinery. More alarming, perhaps, is that at no point did the owners think to check Neville's credentials. Oh, the humanity!

Having taken the second-to-last corner of his approach at a stealthy 11 miles per hour, Nev proceeded to career straight across the following corner, up the facing pavement (making a brief visit to a flower boarder containing a range of hardy perennials), before travelling backwards for 15 metres - at which point he came to rest in an uncannily tidy fashion on the red carpet.

When asked by reporters for his immediate thoughts, Neville said simply "Well... It's not not like my beloved Massey Ferguson, that's for sure. Not in the slightest! Just before the corner, I had a bit of bother getting to grips with the knob thingy - I can always find my knob thingy in the Massey".

Poor old Nev - he really doesn't help himself, does he?!

Welcome To World Of Poot Dating!!

World Of Poot Dating

''You can really meet 'em!''

Here are this month's selection of hapless singletons looking for love.

Edna, 36, From Shepwick.

''I like food and plenty of it, so my prospective partner will have to wine and dine me every 20 minutes. Non smokers please''.

Trevor, 28 From Plootford.

''I'm a real life action man, and have a highly dangerous job working in sewerage production. So I like to live on the edge and pop to the pictures once a month, mad I know!''

Frabov, 30 From Stips.

''I am a refugee from Nikkersoff and need a woman with her own place to house my fifteen kids'.

Neville, 34 From Stains.

''I would like to meet a female of the species, with her own teeth for fun days out. She has to have a body on her, snarf snarf!''

That's it for this time - remember if you don't like what you see in this month's edition, come again next month for more of the same!