Crouching Tiger, Stumbling Fool

No doubt many of you film boffins will have seen this already, but it has
only just come to our attention. Oh, how we laughed!

All we can say is - better luck next time, dude.

Enjoy!

Rude Signs Revisited!

Many apologies to The World Of Poot for not posting anything for a fair while! I've been very busy with important social and alcohol based meetings. All for the cause I say!

In the meantime, before I do any serious poot-posting, here's yet another rude sign I saw on my travels...

This is more local, at Reculver Towers. It's engraved upon a stone tablet for eternity. Babbington has himself appreciated the ruined splendour of this beacon of the Kent coast, not to mention the groins.....

Groins..lol

Tony's Just Desserts

It's not all pasta and horses' heads in the world of mobster cuisine - seems the ol' Tonies have a softer side... and a sweet tooth!

(You focally-challenged types might like to click on the
image below to bring it up larger).

Just don't push your luck by asking for a Flake in your '99'!

Random Objects: #2 - A Case Of Crabs

Funny what you come across on a walk down by the water... I happened to be strolling along a jetty, when what should catch my eye but a fishing net and a plastic container:

So I looked a little closer:

And would you believe it - a case of crabs!

OK, so not technically a 'case'.
Now you're just being picky - work with me here!

The World's Most Worthless Money

I recently received this most gracious donation from our regular contributor and benefactor, Neville Cheestring:

Well, you can imagine my delight - it's not often I get a fake cheque where such effort has been made to make it look half convincing - hey, it's even made of rubber! So, er... yeah. Cheers, Nev. I've got my eye on you, sunshine - and not the glass one, neither.

Sad thing is, I was actually toying with the idea of trying to cash it in at my local bank - just to see the expression on their faces. Hmmm... there's still time... shall I...?!

Anyway, on the subject of worthless money (ah, seamless!), this bank note is actually genuine:


You can find out more about money that quite literally isn't worth the paper it's printed on here.

The WOP Hotel - Deluxe Refit Now Complete!

As many of you will know, WOP International - our product sales and marketing devision - warmly invites our corporate clients to stop overnight when on business in the area. To this end, we are pleased - nay, ecstatic! - to announce the superb new £40,000 renovation of our executive suites.

We have searched high and low (mainly low, actually), scouring car-boot sales and thrift shops for the kind of quality items we know out guests deserve - and expect! From the choicest fine art pieces to the latest electronic entertainment devices, we've cut many no corners in order to bring you these latest improvements.

But enough chitty-chatty. No doubt you are dying to find out just what we've been up to 'behind the scenes'! Well wait no longer, friends, because we are proud to unveil the exciting new transformations with this online exclusive!

Whether you simply wish to sit
back and enjoy our hand-picked,
thought-provoking artwork:

... Or listen to your favourite broadcasts
on these state-of-the-art Grundig Sonoclock 220
alarm clock/radio units:


Maybe the television is more your thing?
You can now benefit from a choice of 3
- yes 3! - exciting channels:


Quietly read by atmospheric lighting...


... Or get prepared and create the perfect
crease in tomorrow's trousers, with the
Bentley Type CH 535 wall-mounted press:


Are you a traditionalist? No problem!
With a complimentary iron in every
room, all tastes are accounted for:


You'll want to make use of our luxurious
bathroom facilities.
From (splash-proof?) Linolite Relax-Lite
illumination, complete with
electric shaver point:


To the glorious Triton T80 power
shower unit with hot and cold water:

Super-Glide quick-adjust rail
fitted as standard, naturally:


And don't forget the Quick-Squit
rapid soap dispenser!


We've even provided some abstract art
for you to enjoy whilst getting those
nooks and crannies clean!


Round off the perfect evening of pampering
with the Northmace 800 industrial hair dryer...


... And a stiff drink in one of our
almost-matching 'his and hers' plastic beakers:

- The WOP Hotel -
Come back!
Soon.

Test Card Get's New Look!

WOP reporters can exclusively reveal that our very own Neville has been chosen to be the new face of the Test Card for British Television.

To think, he'll be on tv sets all round the country (except Somerset).......

Go for it Nev!

The Joker...possibly

Unless you're living under a rock, or in Kidderminster - you'll no doubt be aware that the latest Batman film 'The Dark Knight' will be out at the cinemas at the end of this week. Already there are rumours to whom could play The Joker if his role was reprised later in the series.

Normally, our Neville would be the first to step up to the challenge, but he's been so overworked lately and is already playing the rear part of Bambi in 'Bambi Legacy'- the new live action film out later in the year.

So, as a good second choice - how about Babbington? He loves a joke and has been known to wear purple from time to time.

So this is how our very own Babbington may look as the Clown Of Evil!

Holy Poot!

Pompoms In Space: #001 - Nige thinks he's a robot

Somewhere out there, on a planet far, far away...

Nige is having a crisis of identity.

Welcome to Pompoms In Space.

Random Objects: #1 - Pot o' Pens & Pencils

.

VITAL STATISTICS:

Location: Hotel conference room, Leeds, UK
Colours: Black, silver, white, blue, orange, green, red
Average pen length: 5 inches (inc. lid)
Average pencil length: 6 1/2 inches
Receptical dimensions (approx): 3 1/2 x 2 x 2 inches
Uses: Writing, drawing, doodling, ear wax removal
Incidentals: Hat stand features in background
Pootability Rating: 3

Up The Garden Path

What could be more quintessentially British than the good old-fashioned English country garden, eh?!

Well, I don't have one of those. But I do have a veggie patch. OK, so I don't have one of them either - but I do have a few pots, tubs and troughs dotted about outside the kitchen, into which I have planted various veggies. And with such precision that there now appears to be a fine crop developing.

Sounds nice, doesn't it? "Life's rosey in the 'garden' at Chez Babbington" I hear you say. Well all is not as it may seem!


Look, you're missing the point here. The thing is, I have slugs. At least, that's what I assume I have. Certainly, the lettuces (or should that be letti? lettuci?) aren't too chuffed. Sure they have sun and water (no speed boat, but then what would they do with one of those?!). Trouble is, sun and water ain't no good if you're being devoured daily.

Boo hiss, slug!
(photo: buygardendecor.com, via Google images)

Actually, thinking about it, if lettuces/letti/lettuci did have a speed boat, they could plan an escape during a heavy rain storm. Ooh, that's a point - how about a sailing boat? We have lots of wind in this country (poot!). Ooh, ooh, ooh, I've got it! Air balloons. That's what lettuces/letti/lettuci need. It's obvious, when you think about it. Isn't it? Ah. Maybe it's just me then.

But I digress...

The point is this: some low-down, good-for-nothing, slimey garden-based creature, some thieving tea leaf, has been helping itself to our lettuces/letti/lettuci. I've yet to find the culprit, but when I do... er... oh.

I'll probably just move it to one side. I'm not an animal.

Don't even get me started on the spinach!

Spot-A-Tony: A Gaggle Of Tonys!

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As many of you will know, Tony-spotting is the latest craze to hit... well... somewhere. Anyway. World Of Poot, for sure. We love a good Tony. The phenomenon may even have spread as far as the end of the road - we don't know. That doesn't really matter. Fact is, there's nothing quite like stumbling accross a good Tony once in a while.

But listen up all you Tony-spotters - I think I've hit the jackpot!!! You know how it is, you're walking around a public event, taking in the sights when, out of the corner of your eye you see the unmistakable vison that can only be... a Tony! Well get this, yo, I bagged me a whole bunch of Tonys this weekend - so how do you like them apples, huh?!

The pictures say it all (oh, and the captions, too).

A triptych of Tonys...
It's the one on the right you have to watch out for.

Tony 'The Hat'.

Tony 'Laughing Boy' (yellow jacket) always
gets prime spot at the front of the pack.

Tony 'The Boss'

Don't be fooled by their 'pleasant' facade.

The universal pose: 'Ey Tony!

Have YOU spotted a Tony? Let us know!

(ed. Babbington would have attempted to get a picture of himself posing with the Tonys - but he was rather scared of, quite literally, being mobbed!)

The World Of Poot's Guide To Rude Signs. This week: Hereford

Well, I have spent the past weekend up in Herefordshire, and upon my stumbling about the place, I was lucky to snap these gems. Perhaps this might become a regular feature, who knows!

But perhaps the clear winner is......

It's all out there readers, so we hope we've inspired you to do a bit of Rude Sign Spotting!

Big Book Of Poot

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Here's just a snippet of a thought - I mentioned in the last post about second hand book shops. Apparently, the biggest second hand book shop in the country is in Rochester, Kent. I went in there once, and was rather disappointed. All the books were actually regular sized.

Don't believe everything you see readers!

Could Neville Be The Next Doctor Who..?

So, another fantastic series of Doctor Who has drawn to it's gripping conclusion. Already, there are hundreds of rumours - most of them ill founded - about who might step into the shoes of the current actor, David Tennant. How about our very own Neville? It would take the character into a much more darker, biscuity area, and there would be a lot of action scenes based in and around railway stations and second hand book shops.

Let us know what you think!

World Of Poot Pips: A Few Things That Irritate...

We here at WOP like to think that we're tolerant towards most things in life. However there are a few select things that grate, irritate and get on our pips. We hope that you agree on all or at least one of the items spotlighted in shame here in this short tribute to all things particuarly annoying...

Feel free to let us know if you agree - and if you'd like to see any additions to the next one!

Neville, for instance would like to see clothes that are not fawn coloured included.

Introducing Norman Cheestring!

While we are waiting for the gremlins to be addressed regarding the videos on here - I thought you'd like to meet Norman Cheestring, the Grandfather of our Neville....

His interests are pretty much the same as Nevilles'; trains, fluff and indexing random road signs he comes across on his weekly walk to the post office for his pension...

Norman is also an avid member of National Appreciation Of Bus Seat Designs. Incidentally, he is working on a book, with a huge collection of images and information relating to the classification and identification of regional bus seats.

'It's taken me 11 years to do this, and I'm almost there.' said Norman. 'It's not just a serious reference to all things about bus seats - but there is a surprising amount of fun and humour there too'.

He plans to follow this with a broader look at national bus seats and even signage.

He would like to draw our attention to this beauty he snapped on a brief journey to the clinic last week. 'This a fairly new design, based on the classic PLX454 series used in Yorkshire - and everyone knows of that one'.

Well done Norman - we here at WOP look forward to reading your work very soon, just as soon as we can find our glasses.

Barry's Book Corner

Today's recommendation from our resident bookworm, Barry Bitumen, is that well-known tome "Gibbon's The Decline And Fall Of The Roman Empire" by D.M. Low - which can be found on the staircase, in the corner just before you turn left to go up onto the landing.


Says Barry, "I particularly enjoyed the start of paragraph two on page 508, which reads 'Athanasius introduced into Rome the knowledge and practice of the monastic life...' Yes, that was a good bit, that."

Wise words indeed, and we look forward to the next exciting installment to come from the shelves of the the Book Corner library.

Here at WOP HQ, we were particularly impressed by the condition of the carpet, given that it hasn't been hoovered for months.

Fishing World Cup 2008 - Semi Final

Join World Of Poot Sport's veteran commentator Kevin Ketley live at Belchford Lake, for this crucial World Cup semi final. Proof if needed that fishing is an edge of the seat sport, and more so for the spectator....

Expect more summer treats such as the European Baked Bean Rally in Stuttgart and the Babbington's Biscuits One Ball Pool shoot off in Grimmington.