Friday, January 16, 2009
Barry's Book Corner
Fresh from his extended Christmas/New Year break which took in mustard fighting in Wolverhampton, Barry Bitumen - our resident literary genius - is back on track. Actually, saying that, things did not get off to the best of starts this year as, upon his return, Barry was confronted on the doorstep of his two-bed semi in Rochester by not one but all six of his ex-wives!
Sadly Linda, Diane, Rachel, Susan, Esther and Peter (don't ask) were not there to hand over belated Christmas cards. No, they were fully intent on laying claim to their individual shares of the house, clubbing together to organise one big house-share arrangement. Unfortunately for Barry, the collective total of these individual shares added up to 97% ownership.
So, with new horizons literally 'out there', our man has been busily cleaning out his posessions and clearing up after himself for fear of receiving a beating if he leaves even a single hair in the plug hole! With this in mind, then, this month's inspired recommendation is the Readers' Digest "How To Clean Just About Anything"... which, understandably, can currently be found in the shower cubicle.
Says Barry, "Apparently, bloodstains can be successfully removed from carpets by covering them with a mix of flour and cold water and rubbing gently, drying by turning up the radiators, then brushing off the paste once it has dried. Well that's very interesting... very interesting indeed. I must make a note of that...."
Wise words indeed, Barry. We wish you the best of luck with your ongoing domestic struggles at what must surely be a very stressful time, and we look forward to next month's not-at-all disturbing recommendation.