Halloween Humphrey

He lives in the basement. Behind the collection of old clothes and magazines that time forgot.

A tattered and torn piece of rolled-up, disintegrating carpet passes for a pillow; only the movement of the mice running over his weary old bones gives him any sense of warmth.

Welcome to Humphrey's world.

At night, you can hear him cry himself to sleep, his agonising, torturous wails resounding throughout the neighbourhood sewer system, as he laments his sad and lonely existance.

He longs for companionship, listening out for the only sounds with which he can identify.

No friends. No lovers. No deodorant.

But all this pales into insignificance when you witness his terrible affliction.

Watch if you dare...

Happy Halloween, Pooters!

Halloween Guess The Movie Special!! Part III

Oh yes - it's back for one last time...possibly! See if you can guess this movie title!

It's a straightforward one, or is it?

Hmmm.....

Good luck Pooters!

WOP Shop - Xmas Early-Bird Exclusive!

With Christmas just around the proverbial black-ice blind corner, you may well be thinking "just what do I get that 'special' someone this year?"

Sure, you could follow the crowd in search of the usual swathe of gift ideas - an ironing board, his-and-hers matching paper clips, a badger press - but where's the fun in that?!

(Ok, so a badger press is always good for a laugh!)

No, what you want is something colourful. Something memorable. Something... well... 'special'.

What you want is...

The all-new WOP International
Self-combusting Oven Glove

• Have you ever felt hot-headed? Well now you can feel hot-handed, too!
• Dazzle your friends and family (as you run, screaming, through the house)!
• Available in an exciting range of flame-complimentary colours!
• A great conversation breaker - fun for all the family!
  

And as if all those great qualities weren't enough,
how's this for a further incentive:

Buy now and we'll even throw in free house insurance!!!

So what are you waiting for? Don't delay - order today!


*Another product of questionable quality*
*Available exclusively only from World Of Poot Shop*
*Christmas is a while off yet*

Random Objects: #9 - Cardog

Meanwhile...

in a parallel universe...

Halloween Guess The Movie Special!! Part II

Eeeh, we're a bloodthirsty lot here at WOP HQ. Here are another couple of fiendishly horrible images for you to guess the movie titles!

As with all the previous ones, there will no prize given, unless there is.

Halloween Guess The Movie Special!!

Once again, it's time to get the old grey matter oiled up! See if you can guess this special editions' movie titles from the images. Both of them have a 'Horror' connection....

More next time pooters!

Our 'Fingershoe' Goes Gold!

We here at WOP are delighted with our increasingly popular product - The Fingershoe - which has just sold over 100 pairs! If you haven't ordered your pair yet, then you must! We will be doing a limited edition shortly before Christmas, which will have holly and mistletoe entwined with the laces, for a really seasonal flavour!

Thought For The Day - Armadillo

Is it really such a wise idea to arm a dillo?

Get them mices! (Random Objects: #8)

They say that you're never more than 10 feet away from a rat.
But what about mice?

Anyway...

Could this be the world's largest mouse trap?

More to the point...

If this is indeed a real trap - just how big are the mice?!

And what if they're waiting round the corner,
ready to pounce and steal your Haribo?!

Those crafty vermin.

More Wee Willie Winkies! (Random Objects: #7)

Well I never - it would appear that the Wee Willy Winkies I cornered in Scotland recently (here) have followed me all the way down to my local Asda!

Spotted them today, the cheeky winkies!

Yet - Another ''Guess The Movie'' Quiz!

Oh yes, it's back again, just as you were cracking your braincells trying to guess the last puzzlers!

So it's the same - guess the movies by the 'careful' recreation of the famous scenes....

I must admit - the last one is a bit naughty of me, if you get it - you're a genius! I didn't get it, and I did it.

More movie mayhem next time folks!

Thought For The Day - Carrier Pigeons

.

Do carrier pigeons take their weekly
food shop home in carrier bags?

Heavy Metal Farmer

When Bumpkins and music collide...!

Name The Movie...Returns!

Okay film buffs, this time there are THREE movies for you to identify from the images below....

Good Luck!

Go on, have a guess!!!

(A Special thanks to the cast of my dog's toys, bravo!)

Barenaked Numbers

Do you like numbers? Oh, you do? Marvellous.
So do we. My particular favourite is the number '3'.
Would you like to have fun with numbers and Barenaked ladies?
Oh, you would? Marvellous!

Enjoy!

Babbington - The Vandal - Returns!!!

Oh dear me, just as you thought the recent spate of vandalism using the good name of 'Babbington' was finally over, it appears that a new imposter is re-igniting it all over again!

The arrest of, erm, whatsisname who pretended to be our very own Babbington recently had caused the hysteria to die down. Now it loks as if a copy cat vandal is stalking the streets of our country, starting in Wales!

Wait a minute, hasn't the actual real life Babbington been to Wales lately? Hmmm.....

More investigation is needed!

WOP Hotel - further exciting development!

Back in July, we brought you news of our deluxe refit at the WOP Hotel. Well, it is fair to say that following the news, we were litterally 'asked' whether this area of development was due for further regeneration. At the time, we had to keep things all very 'hush-hush'.

But that was then... this is now! And so it is with great pride, excitement, and the distinct aroma of flatulence filling the corridoors, that I can announce the latest fantastic news - We're still at it!

Don't ask us how we do it - just know that we do!

Here, for your visual delectation, is just a small vignette of some of the latest wonderful features that our guests can expect to find in their superb rooms...

Spacious and elegant, the minimalist
approach - by popular demand!

With only the finest decor...


... including fine art...


... the year-round
'Winter Wonderland' look...


... and nature on your doorstep (and walls)!


After a long day, you'll really appreciate
the creature comforts, such as...

the Beko Fastext colour television/wardrobe
combi unit...


... and central heating.

Did we mention the Royal Gala #4137
'Crisp And Sweet' telephonic device?!
(includes wires)...


... which you can use at leisure whilst enjoying
a fine cup of English tea, prepared in your very own
Relaxation Zone:


We'll even supply extra electricity!:


Having safely stored away your belonings...


you'll be jumping at the chance to
try your bathroom facilities!
All rooms now come with
bespoke en-suites,


featuring:

The finest porcelain basins...


Stylish detailing such as grooming mirror,
complete with matching receptacle
and air conditioning unit...


... toilet paper dispenser...


... and walk-in shower room

And finally, rest assured that your stay
will be a safe and secure one, thanks to our
strict EU-compliant health & safety measures,
such as...

Restraintech support devices


... easy-wipe surfaces


... Fire Action instruction sheet


... and Guest Emergency
Survival Manual



- The WOP Hotel -
Come back!
Soon.

Neville's Bat-Blooper!

As reported in WOP News earlier this week:
(click to enlarge)

Forever under the misguieded belief that it is a good thing to make a 'striking and dramatic' entrance to public events, our star of the recent 'Bat Nev' blockbuster - Neville Cheestring - somehow managed to convince the owners of the original 1989 Bat Man car to let him drive their machine to the recent Pride of Britain awards.

He neglected to tell them that he only has a provisional licence... and that being for use only with agricultural machinery. More alarming, perhaps, is that at no point did the owners think to check Neville's credentials. Oh, the humanity!

Having taken the second-to-last corner of his approach at a stealthy 11 miles per hour, Nev proceeded to career straight across the following corner, up the facing pavement (making a brief visit to a flower boarder containing a range of hardy perennials), before travelling backwards for 15 metres - at which point he came to rest in an uncannily tidy fashion on the red carpet.

When asked by reporters for his immediate thoughts, Neville said simply "Well... It's not not like my beloved Massey Ferguson, that's for sure. Not in the slightest! Just before the corner, I had a bit of bother getting to grips with the knob thingy - I can always find my knob thingy in the Massey".

Poor old Nev - he really doesn't help himself, does he?!

Random Objects: #6 - Wee Willie Winkie's

Greetings, pooters!

This post comes in the wake of my very long one-day adventure up in Scotland yesterday, where I happened upon this delightful find in a local convenience store. Made me chuckle, so it did.

I actually have nothing more to add (probably due to exhaustion) - but surely these little fellas speak for themselves anyway!

Mmm... sausages...

We like Salty Splash

.


Anyone who has taken the time to read the comments posted in reponse to our wafflings here - and why wouldn't you, frankly?! - will have noticed a recurring name recently - Saltysplash. We like this chap, and thank him for his considered input!

Which is why we have decided to give his blog a plug - it's actually rather good, you know! Check it out here or click on the link which appears under 'things we like' some way down the left-hand side of this page.

Our Neville, as it happens, is also quite the fan of canal boating. On hearing the news of our new found chum, he exclaimed "Oh, I do love a good canal. Actually, I might just be willing to substitute my passion for railways for that of waterways... as I already have an extensive collection of locks. And barges. Which I may share... I don't know".