WOP 'Special' Christmas Message.....

It's Christmas!!!!!!! Oh yes, it's finally here...and what better way to bring in the festivities than to sit back, eat stuff you'd never ever dream of eating any other time of the year and drink yourself to oblivion. And while you're at it - watch our Christmas Message from the one and only Neville! (in the only way he possibly can...).

So roll out the turkey Mother - it's Neville Time!

Happy Christmas Pooters!!!

PS: so delighted was he with the previous post, Neville has expressed his gratitude to the kind comments and feedback and has pledged £4 to a charity that repairs anoraks.

WOP is 100 today!

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Seasons Greetings, pooters! And behold... World Of Poot has reached it's 100th-post! And just in time for Christmas, too. Feel free to jump up and down in jubilation - just mind your head on the chandelier.

Apologies for the lack of activity recently - the badgers got loose again and, well, I don't have to tell you just what slippery little blighters they can be. Suffice it to say, we have spent the best part of this month (and the not-so-best bits, too, actually) trying to round them up! But order has now been restored - and they are safely tucked up in their trees once again.

Aaaanyway, we're all very excited here at WOP HQ, and everyone is well and truely in festive spirit. With just days to go until Santa does his best to squeeze his big fat behind down out non-existent - but seasonally required - chimney, it's time to think about the annual Christmas party.

The WOP team are hard at work... Among the duty officers, Kevin is in charge of party games, being the sporty type. Barry is taking care of the 'round-the-fireplace' story telling. And word has it that Dave and Nige might even put in a surprise appearance (in which case, erm, it's not going to be much of a surprise, is it?!)

"What about Neville?", you may ask... Ahh yes, Neville. Well... oh dear.

Poor old Nev. He wanted something to do, bless him. Just had to be a part of the action. So, given that this is the season of good will and drunken debauchery, we gave in. "Fine, you can do the decorations", we said, "just as soon as you're finished doing your own back home". Well, that was the first mistake. After 3 days of silence, Mitch decided to nip round to Nev's bachelor pad to see if he was alright.

The scene that greeted him would have been quite sad, nay horrific, had it had not been so amusing. A real-life case of 'where's Wally?' if ever there was one - and with a festive twist, too!

To get a better idea of the whole shocking affair, click on the picture to big-up your Nev.


More seasonal antics to follow!

Babbington's World Of Shirts Special!

Oooh, as we edge closer to our 100th post, we thought we'd share this 'special' gallery of images of shirts as worn by our very own Babbington. We caught up with him parading his glorious collection, from floral swirls to flashy primaries.....

I think you'll agree that he looks the part.

Now we await inspiration for the next landmark post!!

Post No# 98!

Well..... (in the words of Kevin Ketley).... we're almost at our 100th post!!! Would you believe it? I know I don't. Seriously, I don't.

After this post we're only two away from that milestone, so we'd better think of something monumentous to mark that. We're not promising anything of course... It's possible that our Neville might be dragged into it again.

Perhaps you've got some ideas about what you'd like to see in our 100th post? Perhaps you don't too.

Also, let's get some ideas going for our 1000th post, which admitedly is a bit away yet, but it's best to be prepared.

And now, a random image......

Neville buffs up!

After the runaway success of Into The Wild, our man Neville Cheestring has decided that he needs to build on his image. Obviously, we think he's fine just the way he is; after all, how can you improve on perfection, right?! Still, Nev is having none of it.

On my visit to the gym today, I bumped into our self-proclaimed 'Wild Man of WOP'. Actually, truth be told, he bumped into me - true to form, of course. Naturally, I was surprised to see him there - goodness knows the man can't even lift a bag of sugar with two hands! - so I asked just what he was playing at. His answer - "I think I may be a little bit lost".

Well, quite.

Still, I have to say, you're looking good there Nev - especially with the body bronzing! And thanks again for letting us publish this promo photo!

He also directed me to this wonderful footage of his prankster pal...

I don't know... You people!

Into The Wild - With Neville Cheestring

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Today is a very special day.
It is the day you have all been waiting for.
Or, at least, it's the day Neville has been waiting for!

So sit back, kick off your fingershoes, and enjoy.

WOP Productions is proud to present...

Into The Wild - With Neville Cheestring

(for best results, please allow Nev to fully buffer
up all 7 minutes and 27 seconds!)

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Kevin Ketley Reports......

Yes, we have an exclusive podcast (Hmmm....not exactly is it?) of Kevin Ketley's recent report on the Taunton Country Showcase Festival Whatsit 2008. You get to hear from one of the yokels...erm..locals, Emma Royd and how her buns attract people from afar.....

So sit back, pour some cheese and slice a chunk of wine off.

Take it away Kev!

Kevin Ketley's Sound-a-like

In the parlance of our dear sports commentator, Kevin Ketley...

"Well..."

Enjoy!

(oh, and by the way, there's a tiny bit of 'foul' language in this one - so you might want to go do the ironing or something instead of watching!)

Exclusive: Coming soon - Nev goes wild!

Don't say we don't ever bring you exclusive content here at WOP because, well, here's one such news exclusive right now!

Yup, he's at it again - our hapless friend, Neville Cheestring, is convinced that he can make it big (again). This time, he's determined that he has what it takes to conquer the wonderful world of internet television. And his vehicle? The great outdoors.

Oh dear.

Yes, hard as it is to believe, Nev is indeed putting together the final shards of the pilot episode of his exciting new show "Into The Wild", in which he 'educates' viewers about all things 'nature survival'. "It's all very exciting really," he says, "... much like railways in that sense. There are trees and animals and... well, too much to go into here. Did I mention the trees?"

And, would you credit it, we've even managed to secure these yet-to-be-released publicity stills, taken during the filming of this latest venture, in which Neville will be seen illustrating the wonders of such skills as fire lighting, food gathering, and 'a hole in a tree'.

We wish him luck - because, let's face it, he's going to need it!

As for you, dear Pooters, you can expect the motion-picture result of Nev's glorious endeavours shortly!

Barry's Book Corner

This month, Barry's recommendation has been very much inspired by the events of last weekend's poot-fest, here at WOP HQ. With so much 'entertainment' on offer, he was surely spoilt for choice!

And so... this outing's recommendation is none other than "Practical Jokes To Play On Her", as published by Kudos.

Fittingly, this little gem can be found subtly wedged on top of a whoopie cushion, sneakily hidden within a living room sofa - no doubt just waiting for a poor unsuspecting victim to 'discover' it!

Clearly, our man is easily pleased. Once he had stopped laughing at the sounds of fabricated flatulence, we were able to extract his summing-up: "Sometimes, you just can't beat the classics. Forget all your i-dongs and megapips, tradition is the bedrock of good, clean home entertainment!"

Wise words indeed, Barry, and we look forward to next month's glowing recommendation.

Stay Pooted!

Regular Pooters may have noticed a slight pause in posts lately! However, very soon - there's going to be one heck of a load of new posts heading this way...so stay pooted!

The forces of Babbington and Lobster Mitch have united over the weekend to bring you some literally 'incredible' stuff. We do our best and more for WOP!
So watch this space........

It's Poot-Works Night!

We here at WOP hope you're all having a great time watching the fireworks displays this week! Remember though, safety first; wear some form of clothes.

I went to a display in Kent at the weekend, and noticed that the fine pyrotechnical wizards decided to honour us!

It's amazing what they can do with a bit of know how isn't it...?

Whizz, bang........frapppppp!

Barry's Book Corner

This month, Barry Bitumen brings us his recommendation along with an apology...

Some of our sharper-eyed readers will have noticeed that Barry was strangely silent for the duration of last month, and so did not not offer a book suggestion. He still maintains that this was due to 'personal circumstances', but we suspect he was just simply engrossed in his work and lost track of the time.

Naturally we approached him for his submission but, ironically enough, were greeted with that old chestnut of an excuse, "My dog ate it!" Ironic, you see, because this belated recommendation is none other than Elliott Erwitt's "Dog Dogs" - which, naturally, can be found taking up your warm, cosy space on the sofa, right next to the fire!

Now, Barry likes to keep one eye on the WOP, and it has not gone unnoticed that we have a dog fancier (er... is that the right terminology?) in our midst. So our latest 'anonymous' friend will no doubt be overjoyed by the pictures contained within this post! Besides, with a request stating "can we have more dog images plz? i'd love you for it :))", how could our bookworm resist?!


And Mr. Bitumen's comment this time around?: "This is, quite literally, the mutt's... book! And what's more, you know, it's almost as if this recommendation was contrived!"

Wise words indeed, Barry. We wish you all the best in handling your, um, 'personal circumstances', and look forward to your current recommendation - to be submitted on time! - later this month.

Halloween Humphrey

He lives in the basement. Behind the collection of old clothes and magazines that time forgot.

A tattered and torn piece of rolled-up, disintegrating carpet passes for a pillow; only the movement of the mice running over his weary old bones gives him any sense of warmth.

Welcome to Humphrey's world.

At night, you can hear him cry himself to sleep, his agonising, torturous wails resounding throughout the neighbourhood sewer system, as he laments his sad and lonely existance.

He longs for companionship, listening out for the only sounds with which he can identify.

No friends. No lovers. No deodorant.

But all this pales into insignificance when you witness his terrible affliction.

Watch if you dare...

Happy Halloween, Pooters!

Halloween Guess The Movie Special!! Part III

Oh yes - it's back for one last time...possibly! See if you can guess this movie title!

It's a straightforward one, or is it?

Hmmm.....

Good luck Pooters!

WOP Shop - Xmas Early-Bird Exclusive!

With Christmas just around the proverbial black-ice blind corner, you may well be thinking "just what do I get that 'special' someone this year?"

Sure, you could follow the crowd in search of the usual swathe of gift ideas - an ironing board, his-and-hers matching paper clips, a badger press - but where's the fun in that?!

(Ok, so a badger press is always good for a laugh!)

No, what you want is something colourful. Something memorable. Something... well... 'special'.

What you want is...

The all-new WOP International
Self-combusting Oven Glove

• Have you ever felt hot-headed? Well now you can feel hot-handed, too!
• Dazzle your friends and family (as you run, screaming, through the house)!
• Available in an exciting range of flame-complimentary colours!
• A great conversation breaker - fun for all the family!
  

And as if all those great qualities weren't enough,
how's this for a further incentive:

Buy now and we'll even throw in free house insurance!!!

So what are you waiting for? Don't delay - order today!


*Another product of questionable quality*
*Available exclusively only from World Of Poot Shop*
*Christmas is a while off yet*

Random Objects: #9 - Cardog

Meanwhile...

in a parallel universe...

Halloween Guess The Movie Special!! Part II

Eeeh, we're a bloodthirsty lot here at WOP HQ. Here are another couple of fiendishly horrible images for you to guess the movie titles!

As with all the previous ones, there will no prize given, unless there is.

Halloween Guess The Movie Special!!

Once again, it's time to get the old grey matter oiled up! See if you can guess this special editions' movie titles from the images. Both of them have a 'Horror' connection....

More next time pooters!

Our 'Fingershoe' Goes Gold!

We here at WOP are delighted with our increasingly popular product - The Fingershoe - which has just sold over 100 pairs! If you haven't ordered your pair yet, then you must! We will be doing a limited edition shortly before Christmas, which will have holly and mistletoe entwined with the laces, for a really seasonal flavour!

Thought For The Day - Armadillo

Is it really such a wise idea to arm a dillo?

Get them mices! (Random Objects: #8)

They say that you're never more than 10 feet away from a rat.
But what about mice?

Anyway...

Could this be the world's largest mouse trap?

More to the point...

If this is indeed a real trap - just how big are the mice?!

And what if they're waiting round the corner,
ready to pounce and steal your Haribo?!

Those crafty vermin.

More Wee Willie Winkies! (Random Objects: #7)

Well I never - it would appear that the Wee Willy Winkies I cornered in Scotland recently (here) have followed me all the way down to my local Asda!

Spotted them today, the cheeky winkies!

Yet - Another ''Guess The Movie'' Quiz!

Oh yes, it's back again, just as you were cracking your braincells trying to guess the last puzzlers!

So it's the same - guess the movies by the 'careful' recreation of the famous scenes....

I must admit - the last one is a bit naughty of me, if you get it - you're a genius! I didn't get it, and I did it.

More movie mayhem next time folks!

Thought For The Day - Carrier Pigeons

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Do carrier pigeons take their weekly
food shop home in carrier bags?

Heavy Metal Farmer

When Bumpkins and music collide...!

Name The Movie...Returns!

Okay film buffs, this time there are THREE movies for you to identify from the images below....

Good Luck!

Go on, have a guess!!!

(A Special thanks to the cast of my dog's toys, bravo!)

Barenaked Numbers

Do you like numbers? Oh, you do? Marvellous.
So do we. My particular favourite is the number '3'.
Would you like to have fun with numbers and Barenaked ladies?
Oh, you would? Marvellous!

Enjoy!

Babbington - The Vandal - Returns!!!

Oh dear me, just as you thought the recent spate of vandalism using the good name of 'Babbington' was finally over, it appears that a new imposter is re-igniting it all over again!

The arrest of, erm, whatsisname who pretended to be our very own Babbington recently had caused the hysteria to die down. Now it loks as if a copy cat vandal is stalking the streets of our country, starting in Wales!

Wait a minute, hasn't the actual real life Babbington been to Wales lately? Hmmm.....

More investigation is needed!

WOP Hotel - further exciting development!

Back in July, we brought you news of our deluxe refit at the WOP Hotel. Well, it is fair to say that following the news, we were litterally 'asked' whether this area of development was due for further regeneration. At the time, we had to keep things all very 'hush-hush'.

But that was then... this is now! And so it is with great pride, excitement, and the distinct aroma of flatulence filling the corridoors, that I can announce the latest fantastic news - We're still at it!

Don't ask us how we do it - just know that we do!

Here, for your visual delectation, is just a small vignette of some of the latest wonderful features that our guests can expect to find in their superb rooms...

Spacious and elegant, the minimalist
approach - by popular demand!

With only the finest decor...


... including fine art...


... the year-round
'Winter Wonderland' look...


... and nature on your doorstep (and walls)!


After a long day, you'll really appreciate
the creature comforts, such as...

the Beko Fastext colour television/wardrobe
combi unit...


... and central heating.

Did we mention the Royal Gala #4137
'Crisp And Sweet' telephonic device?!
(includes wires)...


... which you can use at leisure whilst enjoying
a fine cup of English tea, prepared in your very own
Relaxation Zone:


We'll even supply extra electricity!:


Having safely stored away your belonings...


you'll be jumping at the chance to
try your bathroom facilities!
All rooms now come with
bespoke en-suites,


featuring:

The finest porcelain basins...


Stylish detailing such as grooming mirror,
complete with matching receptacle
and air conditioning unit...


... toilet paper dispenser...


... and walk-in shower room

And finally, rest assured that your stay
will be a safe and secure one, thanks to our
strict EU-compliant health & safety measures,
such as...

Restraintech support devices


... easy-wipe surfaces


... Fire Action instruction sheet


... and Guest Emergency
Survival Manual



- The WOP Hotel -
Come back!
Soon.